


Ramble On

by notfreyja, Straight_Outta_Hobbiton



Series: Doubt The Stars [7]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Jim Kirk Bullshit™, Klingons, M/M, Risa - Freeform, Threats of Violence, delusions of grandeur
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-21
Updated: 2016-08-21
Packaged: 2018-08-10 01:11:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7824358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notfreyja/pseuds/notfreyja, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Straight_Outta_Hobbiton/pseuds/Straight_Outta_Hobbiton
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In an attempt to prevent the kid from going a little stir-crazy, Number One lets Jim take command of the Farragut during a routine mission.</p><p>Of course, things go to hell.</p><p>And that's before they let the kid set foot on Risa.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The playlist for this fic can be found [here.](https://8tracks.com/starhobbit/ramble-on#smart_id=dj:16203706&play=1)
> 
> Follow [not-freyja](https://not-freyja.tumblr.com) and [straight-outta-hobbiton](https://straight-outta-hobbiton.tumblr.com) on Tumblr.

It was supposed to be routine survey of a newly discovered Class M planet. It was supposed to be easy, in and out. It was supposed to go off without a hitch.

 

So when communications with the ship go dead seconds after beam down, Pike groans. It figures. Nothing ever goes according to plan these days.

 

“Number One, is your communicator operating?”

 

“Negative, Captain.” She tucks the device away. It is useless to her now.

 

The science officer that beamed down with them looks up from his tricorder. “It appears the source of the interference is the result of an ionic cloud. Good news, it’ll dissipate in three hours.”

 

Pike rubs at his eyes, “So what’s the bad news?”

 

“We cannot contact the ship until that time.”

 

“All right. We might as well get to work, then. Don’t wander far while communications are down.”

 

Lieutenant Connor scurries off like a kid in a candy shop. Number One turns away from Chris, but before she can start off he grabs her by the arm.

 

“Wait, you never told me who you gave the conn.”

 

“Kirk.”

 

Pike shakes his head, releasing his first officer. “Here’s to hoping Winona doesn’t refuse to give it back.”

 

“I did not give control of the  _ Farragut  _ to Winona, Christopher,” she says impassively.

 

He blinks. “Then who…”

 

“I gave it to James.”

 

“Why the  _ fuck  _ did you think that was a good idea? He’s  _ fifteen.  _ He’s not even in Starfleet!”

 

She shrugs, unfazed by her Captain’s obvious upset. “He is less destructive when occupied.”

 

Chris forces himself to relax. They were in Federation space, the ship is in synchronous orbit above an uninhabited planet, and in perfect repair.

 

It’s not like anything could _ really  _ go wrong.

 

Right?

  
  


*.*

  
  


When Number One put him in command of the  _ Farragut _ , Jim had never been more excited in his life. It was going to be awesome. He’d get to sit in Pike’s chair. He’d get to give orders (even if they were mostly “maintain orbit” and “try to get through to the away team again”). He might even get to boss his mom around, though he is willing to admit that that might not be the best idea.

 

Either way, he was sure that it was going to be fun.

  
  


*.*

  
  


What he said earlier? That was a lie.

 

Sitting in the Captain’s chair is not fun. It’s not exciting. It’s boring as fuck because  _ nothing is happening. _

 

The most interesting occurrence thus far was losing contact with the away team, but that was a mystery quickly solved, and now it is nothing more than a waiting game.

 

Jim would kill for something interesting to happen.

 

Roughly an hour into the most intense boredom he’s ever experienced in his life, a Bird of Prey appears on their sensors.

 

Well.  _ Be careful what you wish for. _

  
  


*.*

  
  


Jim’s Klingon is rusty, but it’s good. And he figures that it won’t hurt their chances to treat the Klingon Captain with respect. Speaking in his tongue (even just a little bit) might be the push they need.

 

“Jim, they’re hailing us.”

 

“Okay. No matter what happens, play along. And call me  _ Captain  _ Kirk.”

 

He heard the helmsman heave a pained sigh.

 

“Onscreen.”

  
“Yes…  _ Captain. _ ”


	2. Chapter 2

When the Klingon Captain is patched through to the  _ Farragut _ the last thing he expects to see was a male human child lounging in the Captain’s chair. The boy lounges in the chair a if it were a recliner, head propped up lazily on his arm. A cocky smirk is plastered on his face. And when he speaks, it is in perfect— if accented— Klingon.

 

“This is Captain James Tiberius Kirk of the Starship  _ Farragut,  _ to whom am I speaking?”

 

“This is Captain Koloth.” He pauses. “You cannot be the Captain.”

 

The boy straightens, a sly smile dating across his sharp face.

 

“And why not?”

 

“The Federation would not allow a child to captain a starship— particularly not one so infamous as the  _ USS Farragut _ .”

 

The boy frowns thoughtfully, but the sparkle doesn’t leave his strange blue eyes.

 

“You’re right,” he admits. “The Federation would never assign someone so young to the  _ Farragut _ … “

 

The boy trails off, mouth turning up once more into a sharp grin.

 

“But, seeing as I took this position by force, they’d have to be complete  _ qoH _ to attempt to remove me.” He sniffs, then switches to Standard. “To have officers so weak that a  _ child _ could successfully butcher his way through the entire chain of Command… they were a disgrace to the Federation.”

 

Koloth thinks about this for a moment. The Farragut is well known for its strength in battle, for its unyielding command. Could it be that this child…? No. Impossible.

 

“And how long, if I may ask, has it been since you assumed Command, Captain Kirk?” he asks, each word a bite.

 

Kirk grins.

 

“The blood is still slick on my blade.”

 

A recent kill, then. To have orchestrated the deaths of not only the infamous Captain Pike and his First Officer, but his entire, fearsome crew… a shiver nearly runs down Koloth’s spine.

 

That child is  _ unnatural _ .

 

“I find it hard to believe that a mere child could orchestrate such a mutiny.” Koloth spits, “With respect.”

 

The cocky grin sinks off of the boy’s face. For a moment, Koloth thinks that he has won. That the child has been defeated and will cease this foolish game. But when Kirk speaks again, his voice is cold, unyielding.

 

“I am James Tiberius Kirk, Starborn. I have toppled regimes, defeated armies. I have  _ spat _ in the face of death _. _ I have people loyal to me on every Federation planet, and have just murdered not only my Captain, but his first officer, chief of security, and CMO.

 

“So believe me when I tell you, your death will mean nothing to me. It will be less than another tally added to an already insurmountable game. With a single word, your ship will be destroyed, the bodies of your crewmen floating in the vacuum of space, and you—” Kirk leans forward. “— you will be waiting for me in my…  _ recreational _ facilities. After all, I’ve always wanted to get my hands on a disruptor.”

 

Jim would like to thank the academy...

 

“Are you threatening me, Captain?”

 

The smile returns, relaxed and easygoing. “Not at all, Koloth. I’m offering you a deal. Leave here, now, and I will not follow. You have my word.”

 

“And if I do not?”

 

“Then I will not hesitate to blow you out of the sky. Helmsman, arm torpedos, fire on my order.”

 

Koloth’s eyes are wide. This is not the standard procedure for Federation ships— or so he’s read.

 

Kirk is patronizing when he speaks again, “You seem new, so I’ll be lenient. You have thirty seconds to vacate from firing range. If you do not, I will consider it your decision to die.”

 

“Kirk—”

 

“ _ Thirty seconds,  _ Captain Koloth. Starting now. Lieutenant Kij, end transmission.”

 

The screen goes black, and then resumes its display of the Bird of Prey before them. The bridge erupts into chaos.

 

“Jim, what the  _ fuck _ was that—”

 

“—he’s going to fire on us—”

 

“—he’ll call your bluff—”

 

“—dammit kid, you’ve just gotten us all  _ killed! _ ”

 

Jim interrupts the cacophonic shouting, “Fifteen seconds.”

 

The room goes still. All on the bridge are silent now, staring at the view screen. Jim could swear that Kij is holding his breath. And then the Klingon ship moves, right out of range and  _ away _ . The bridge erupts again. Some laughing, others cursing.

 

Kij smiles at him. “I knew teaching you Klingon would come in handy one day.”

 

Jim grins back in response, settling back in the Captain’s chair.

  
“So that killed some time!” He speaks cheerily, as if they  _ haven’t  _ just been through an potentially fatal situation. “How much longer until we can beam up the Captain?”


	3. Chapter 3

When Pike starts receiving the  _ Farragut _ he almost cries with joy. “This is the Captain Speaking, lock on to our signals and beam us up.”

 

“Yes sir.”

 

If Jim so much as moved a  _ paperweight,  _ Chris is getting rid of him. For good this time.

  
  


*.*

  
  


Nothing could have prepared Chris for the reality of the situation.

 

“You did  _ what!? _ ”

 

Jim was still sitting in the chair - in  _ his chair,  _ damn it - and he had the gall to smile. Smile like there was nothing even remotely worrisome about the sentence “bluffed a Klingon.”

 

“You know what? Never mind. Just get out of the chair.”

 

“I am sorry to inform you of this, Captain, but you cannot issue an order to James at this time.” Number One sounds serene as always.

 

Pike pauses, thinks of regulations and curses under his breath. She’s right. Number One put Jim in command. And he’s going to stay in command until she relieves him. And going by the slight shadow of a smile on his first officer’s face, that isn’t happening too soon.

 

In the end, all he asks is “How long?”

 

She tilts her head slightly, giving it a moment’s thought. “I shall let him have the day.”

 

Jim grins up at her, she quirks an eyebrow back.

 

“Hey, Number One?” And this time his voice in almost conspiratory, “I know what I want to be when I grow up.”

 

The bridge goes so still that Pike swears he could hear his shipmates blinking. He doesn’t blame them. Jim has been jumping from focus to focus basically since birth. He’s tested out of almost every curriculum that Starfleet Academy offers, for Christ sake, giving every department head a run for their money. But never,  _ never,  _ in all the fourteen years he’s been dealing with this child, has Jim ever claimed any sense of direction with his studies.

 

Until now, apparently.

 

“And what is that, James?”

 

“I’m going to be a Captain. I’ve decided.”

 

And oh god no, there’s that nearly trademarked grin again. Pike can’t help it, the words just fall out, “Jimmy Kirk, the day someone decides to make you Captain, I will  _ personally  _ hand you my ship.”

 

The whole bridge bursts into laughter, Pike could swear he even got a small chuckle from Number One, though there’s no way to prove it.

 

“Seriously though, kid. Don’t jump straight to Captain.”

 

Jim tilts his head up at him in a manner that is eerily reminiscent of Number One. Those two have been spending far too much time together. The last thing he needs is for JIm to learn how to emulate her vague serial killer vibe. Though he has to admit, the kid is getting close.

 

“You can’t just…” Chris sighs, then starts over. “You’ve spent most of your life on a Starship, son. Why don’t you go see a little of life outside of the ‘fleet before you make it official. Go be a bartender or something. You can meet some really interesting people at bars.”

 

Pike had been joking about that last part, but Jim did seem to get the message, if the thoughtful look on his face was anything to go by.

 

When Pike gets his ship back that night, he’s never been more glad to be in that chair. And to think, Jim almost got the whole damn crew killed again.

 

The sad thing was, it was almost predictable by this point.

  
  


*.*

  
  


When Winona approaches him a few days later over breakfast, purses his lips. “You’re up early, Kirk. Something wrong.”

 

“No.” She’s leaning into the table, not sitting down. This was going to be brief and he wasn’t going to like it. “I was just hoping we could make a small detour on our way to Centauri.”

 

Okay. He’ll bite.

 

“How small is this detour?”

 

“It’ll add four hours to our trip, and since we’re already six hours ahead of schedule, I don’t think you have cause to protest.”

 

“Where do you want to go?”

 

This was odd. This was an almost scarily reasonable request from his chief engineer.

 

“Risa.”

 

And the penny drops. “What the hell do you need to go to RIsa for?”

 

“I don’t! Just want to drop Jim off. The kid took your bartending suggestion to heart, Chris.” He gapes open mouthed at her, and she bolts away before he can formulate a response.

  
Huh. Looks like Jim  _ wasn’t  _ going to get him killed after all.


	4. Chapter 4

****

The drinking age on Risa is sixteen.

 

Once more for the people in the back:  _ The drinking age on Riza is sixteen _ .

 

Jim has never had so much fun in his life— after all, three days before he beamed down, he’d turned sixteen.

 

Best. Birthday.  _ Ever _ .

 

Winona hooks him up with an apartment and a job in a bar run by one of Sa-kuk Syruk’s friends. Jim doesn’t know how a bar run by a Vulcan works, but hey, he’s willing to try it.

 

Risa is… whoa. Jim’s never been on a planet like this— which, to be fair, the only planets he’s ever spent any substantial time were Vulcan and a farming planet run by a genocidal maniac, so he doesn’t exactly have a decent frame of reference. Still, Jim doesn’t think there are many planets like this— in fact, he knows so.

 

Jim is going to live on  _ the _ pleasure planet in the galaxy.  _ And he’s barely sixteen _ .

 

His Mom is the best.

  
  


*.*

  
  


The bar is called (Il)logical, and it’s run by a Vulcan by the name of Tornik who appears to take pleasure in wiping down tables and feigning a hearing problem. He always looks the same when Jim sees him— in black gloves, a button down shirt, and creased slacks that have no business being in a bar as sleazy as this one— and it is sleazy. Jim usually ends up having to clear the bathroom of amorous couples more than once every night (but that’s only when there’s a line).

 

Being a bartender is fun. Jim’s cute, so people like to flirt, and Jim learns quickly that when he flirts back, he gets tips— good ones. He always knew his baby blues were good for something. He thought it was getting out of potential prison sentences, but apparently, they’re better than cleavage when it comes to conning patrons out of money.

 

He has it down to an art in two weeks. A flutter of his eyelashes, a pout, a line here and a laugh there, and all of a sudden, Jim has more money than he knows what to do with.

 

Jhoma, the Andorian girl who doubles as a waitress? She says it’s because he’s so young, and he believes her. He’s also pretty sure it’s because he’s blond, and small, and looks like something close to prey to some of these older guys.

 

They’d be wrong to think so. Mom made sure he was armed before beaming him down. She’s learned her lesson with him.

 

As it goes, he usually works four days a week. He doesn’t always start at (Il)logical on his days off, but he usually ends up there by the end, trashed and talking politics with the Romulan regular or trading insults with the Klingon girl who plays DJ three times a week. Sometimes, on slower nights at work, he plays chess with Tornick, shouting out his moves over thumping bass and scowling when he gets the countermove written out on a napkin an hour later. It’s hard to play when your opponent takes his time— Jim’s almost lost twice, now.

 

(Sidenote: It turns out Jim is a  _ fantastic _ dancer, once he gets going. And it does not take long for him to get going.)

 

The really great thing about Risa, the best thing, is that here, he’s just another bartender. A pretty young one sure, but not  _ special.  _ People flirt with him because he’s hot, give him tips because he’s good at his job (and is smart enough to flirt back), and in Tornick’s case, listen to what he has to say because he’s smart.

 

There’s no rumour mill here. At least none that hold a candle to the one on the  _ Farragut. _ Other than the employees no one’s permanent enough to know anybody else’s life story. There’s no one whispering about George Kirk’s kid. There’s no one yelling at him about his allergies. And not a single soul on this planet has even  _ heard  _ about the water main incident.

 

It feels like freedom.

 

That isn’t to say he’s managed isolation. No, Jim has loads of friends. There’s the staff at (Il)logical, and the overnight waitress at Jim’s favorite diner. He even has a few regulars. There’s still Gaila, of course, he has a vidcall with her nearly weekly, and T’Pring, who he get’s the occasional message from. Spock and him are still attached at the communicator, which only makes sense. They’re  _ married,  _ after all. And boy, Jim can’t wait for that particular shoe to drop.

 

He’s even acquired a new pen pal, a med student on Earth named McCoy. Jim corrected something on a paper the man wrote on a theory about the effects of deep space on the human immune system, and the initial digital screaming match kind of evolved into pleasant conversation at some point. Jim’s still not sure when.

 

Regardless, Risa’s good. It’s a rush of people from every species, food he’s never even heard of, and music like he wouldn’t have believed if he hadn’t heard it himself. It’s drunken make out sessions on the dance floor (and  _ only _ kissing, he’s fucking married), and just the perfect amount of self discovery.

 

(It turns out, Jim’s sexuality is best described as “ _ yes _ .” At least as far as window shopping is concerned. Neither gender nor species has yet to stop stop him from genuinely flirting from behind the bar.)

  
In the end, Risa isn’t home. But Jim would be lying if he said it hasn’t grown on him.


	5. Chapter 5

When Mom shows up again, it’s about six months into his illustrious bartending career. He’s actually happy to see her when she slides into a bar stool.

 

“Hey Mom!”

 

“Jim.” She bites her lip, and her voices is a mixture of confused and alarmed. “Where is your  _ shirt? _ ”

 

He laughs. “That… is an excellent question. What can I get you? It’s on me!”

 

She shakes her head, laughing. “You’re wasted, aren’t you?”

 

“I am not!” Jim mocks appalment, hand over his heart. “You wound me. I’m barely plastered.”

 

His mother orders a drink through her laughter. Looks like amusement has won out over proper motherly concern. Again.

  
  


*.*

  
  


When closing time comes, Winona stays after, watching as her son wipes down tables and counts up the drawer.

 

“So… you’ve been having fun.”

 

He grins at her, and fuck, that smile is so real it  _ hurts _ that she can’t remember the last time she made him smile like that. Looks like Risa was a good idea after all.

 

“So much fun, I can’t even tell you, Mommy.”

 

“Not family friendly enough for your Mama?” she teases.

 

But Jim actually looks a little appalled. “Hell no, Mom. I would never che-” He cuts himself off mid sentence, the way he always does before his incurable case of foot-in-mouth disease gets him into trouble.

 

“Were you going to say ‘cheat?’”

 

He scoffs. “No, I… I was just—”

 

“Don’t even try, Jim, I already know.”

 

His mouth drops open. For the first time in his life, his mother has managed to well and truly shock him.

 

“Honey? It’s okay. It’s fine. I’ve known for a while.” When his deer in the headlights look doesn’t subside, she changes tactics, “You’ve always been a little gay, kid.”

 

That does the trick. He’s smiling again, all perfect teeth (and wasn’t  _ that  _ an expensive round of dental work) and relaxed posture.

 

“I’m not gay, Mom.”

 

She gives him her best  _ bullshit _ look, “You have a  _ husband. _ ”

 

“Yeah, but I like the other genders too!” He’s full on laughing now.

 

And this hurts a little bit, because Winona hasn’t heard her baby laugh like this in years. She’s always known she’s a less than perfect mother. But realizations like this one? Really rub it in.

  
  


*.*

  
  


In the morning he tells her he’s leaving Risa. Just tells her, like he’s not still a kid who should be asking permission for things like interplanetary moves. She frowns at him across his kitchen table as he delivers the news.

 

Maybe his is a little grown up, she decides. After all, here she is, sitting in her son’s  _ apartment.  _ At his table, eating a breakfast he just cooked for her with groceries he bought on his own. Apparently Jim’s acquired a taste for non-replicated food.

 

He shrugs. “I figure it’s time, you know? There’s nothing holding me here, and I’ve never been very good at keeping my feet on the ground.”

 

Winona knows he’s right. She can’t argue that. “So where to?”

 

“Medical school.”

 

She takes a deep breath. And another. Then one more. “As your  _ mother,  _ I am very happy to hear that. As  _ your  _ mother, I think you need to elaborate a little more. Last I checked, you decided on Command, not Medical.”

 

“Well, yeah.” He takes a comically long gulp of his coffee. “But I figured, I might as well. I’ve completed practically every other track the Academy offers. Figured I’d just collect them all. Might be some sort of trophy in it for me.”

 

Thinking back on it, he’s right. And what the hell, it’ll be hilarious to hear about the admiralty’s reaction to his admittance transcript.

 

“Where are you going?”

 

“Earth.”

 

She nods. “Comm me when you get there. I don’t think it’s unreasonable for me to want to know what planet you’re on.”

  
He chuckles. “Sure thing, Mom.”

**Author's Note:**

> The playlist for this fic can be found [here.](https://8tracks.com/starhobbit/ramble-on#smart_id=dj:16203706&play=1)
> 
> Follow [not-freyja](https://not-freyja.tumblr.com) and [straight-outta-hobbiton](https://straight-outta-hobbiton.tumblr.com) on Tumblr.


End file.
